(Disclaimer: Some names have been changed. This is a blog along the lines of a personal diary. There is not intent to harm , slander, or cause any other unjust occurrence's or circumstances. I do this solely in the hopes of helping others to remain safe.)
Please keep in mind that this is my first attempt at blogging. Much of the nights events I can not post here, as they would be too graphic. Obviously Deputy Serpent, I call him; committed a crime or I wouldn't be writing
I meet Deputy Serpent, 6'4", 225lbs, bald, blue eyes and cleft chin; for the first and only time on the evening of September 19, 2011. He was to come by my house and either bring something to eat or something to cook, we had discussed a breakfast as he stated many times his preference for it. Prior to our meeting, we had communicated briefly via phone calls, text messages and Facebook. He had told me that he worked all the time and had almost no personal time, but he would like meet me. We made arrangements for a quick meeting and meal at my home.
It was the evening of September 19, 2011. Deputy Serpent had worked that day so he arrived just after 10 p.m. Maybe fifteen minutes later my son returned home. I had asked Serpent to please stand up when my son entered and introduce himself and shake my sons hand. As he gave me a questioning look I politely said "It's simply a matter of respect. This is his home too." Keys jingled as the lock turned and my son entered the living room. The deputy stood and greeted my son as I requested. My son did not stay home very long. I asked him if he was hungry but he said he was fine, that he was about to go over to his girlfriends house. As soon as my son left the terror began. For just over three hours I would have to use all the physical, verbal and mental defenses I could summon. I quickly became aware that this man, deputy or not, was not a good man. The strong intelligent man I had perceived from our conversations, rapidly turned into a physically abusive, mentally twisted individual! It was painfully obvious I could not over power him. My only chance was to out think him. But this man in my house was not the man I had spoken to before, though I was positive the man I now faced was the true him. Everything else in my world ceased to exist, all that remained was that moment in time. He would flip from aggressively physically abusive and yelling to calm, polite, quiet. Over and over again, shaking me, twisting me, pulling off my clothes then back to calm, quiet demeanor and soft words. This person knew what he was doing, it seemed he relished this as some kind of game. I knew when he was about to switch modes because he would always declare "I am just gonna leave", and I remained quiet. If I told him to leave he would get pissed off and I surely didn't want him to stay! So I always remained quiet in those moments, praying he would just leave. Instead he would slip into his quiet, calm mode and settle back into the couch. I couldn't, wouldn't let myself believe there was no hope, that I wouldn't make it through this. If I allowed myself to believe that even for a second, then I surely wouldn't. He feed on my responses, anger, tears no matter what degree of emotion, he feed on it. As if it empowered him.
Into the third hour of this ordeal I had a revelation, no emotion. Not sad, not angry. Void. Void of all emotion. That is what affected him. I realized later it was exactly what he did. When he would flip to his calm state, so to speak, he became detached, as if he was recharging for the next round. This is the realization that saved me. Serpent had me pinned to the couch, his weight crushing me. He forced his mouth over mine, raking his teeth across my lips and knocking his teeth against mine. It felt like he was trying to chew that part of my face off. I would say I went cold, but not even that, cold would be a degree of emotion. Cold would piss him off! I went void. Empty shell. No thoughts in my brain, no emotion in my soul. Angryly he said " I just want to get to know you" and he turn his head and looked into my eyes. It was like someone slapped him in the face. He recoiled. And in a singular motion he stood, made his way around the coffee table saying "I'm just gonna leave" making a bee line to the front door, unlocking and opening it he finished his sentence "lock the door behind me." And he was gone.
For a brief second I felt relieved. Then it was as if my body somehow knew the safest place for me to exist at that moment was the void. I remember I stood up from the couch and walked to my room. I picked up a candle and sat down at my desk to light it and say a prayer. I was detached from all emotion. It was over. The serpent was gone.
I started feeling weak. I hadn't eaten so I walked to the kitchen and located a burrito I had left over from a previous trip to Taco Bell. I heated it for a few seconds in the microwave and sat down on the couch placing it on the coffee table. My beer was still three quarters full, I was parched. I put hot sauce on my food and reached for it. I took a sip, grimacing I set it back down. It was hot. I had my first beer of the day at 9:00 p.m., that was my second and it was now after 2:00 a.m. The weakness had started to consume me. At that moment I glanced back at my beer the light bulb going off. Serpent put something in my beer. I fought it, telling myself if I could just get some food in me it would be alright. I slowly manged to eat my food. But it didn't help. Still seated on the edge of the couch I began to sway. My only thought was "Stay awake." I fought and fought to stay awake, still void of emotion. No panic. My only focus was to stay awake till it passed. I suffer from low blood sugar, and I knew without a doubt this wasn't the case. I had no concept of time as I struggled to keep my eyes open and my head from falling back on my neck.
It has been said that when your other senses weaken the one unaffected heightens. I can attest to that. I have experienced this phenomenon albeit for different reasons. I would later come to understand that was what exactly what had happened.
As I struggled to stay awake I heard noises, voices. At first inaudible whispers, then a phrase rang clear, "No she is still awake." They seemed to becoming form outside my front door. For an instant fear threatened to engulf me. Some how I managed to lift my eyelids higher. Calming myself I reached for the remote, assuring myself there was no reason to panic, I had been drugged and it was just my imagination. I pressed the mute button. It was quiet now.
Now I had reached the moment where I knew I was loosing my battle with consciousness. My eyes had shut, my head settled on the back of my neck and again I heard voices. I could not make out what was being said at first and then I caught a few words. "She's about to go down." Fear and determination collided, vying for control over me. I stood straight up, as if a robot had been given a direct command. I grabbed my phone and went straight to my front door. The three window panes on the door had been glazed over in white paint, just remnants of the incompetent contractors the landlord had hired to help fix this old house. But in the center of the center pane there existed a two inch circle that had been cleared of paint. I briefly peered out the opening, I wasn't certain. I looked again and then switched to my other eye. I did see someone!
Crouched behind the bushes not twelve feet from my steps but I needed to be positive. I held my position. The bill of his baseball cap turned towards me and though I could not see his face I knew he saw mine. The shadowed figure immediately scurried back a few more feet behind the bushes. Still crouched down, he grab at the leaves at the base of the hedges, as if he was digging or burying somehting in the leaves. I stepped away from the door dialing 911. The operator answered and I told her there was someone outside my house in the bushes. She connected me to dispatch. They lady stayed on the phone with me until the police officers arrived and had looked around the house then proceeded to approached my door. I hung up the phone and greeted the officers. It would be the first of three times they were called out that evening/morning.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment